I imagine I will be getting a phone call from "my" car salesman any day now.
He has the perfect car-salesman name, Earl, and, since I bought my vehicle a month ago we apparently have become buddies. This call, the third, will go something like this:
"Are you enjoying your new car and all its features?"
"Yes, Earl, it gets me from Point A to B as long as I keep gas in it. And it's red so all is good."
"Well, I'm calling because we emailed you a customer survey form some time ago but you may have missed it. Or do you have any questions about it that I can help you with? Remember we need an 80% satisfaction rating or better." (For bonus purposes I'm thinking.)
"Well you may not want me to fill in that survey."
"Oh?" Silence.
"Apparently there's a vehicle just like mine sitting in front of your showroom with a sign stating $3500 End Of Year Rebate. I think, since I bought a 2012 model off the lot in September I should qualify for this rebate. I was hoping you were calling to tell me there's a cheque in the mail."
"Now, Elaine, I would give you the rebate if I could. It's only for those purchased from Oct. 15 and on. But that doesn't mean we don't appreciate your business."
"As I recall, Earl, I did not qualify for other discounts related to financing and leasing. So I feel like I'm being penalized for being an easy customer. I paid in full, did not order any changes, you did not have to trade with another dealer and I got it out of your inventory before the 2013 arrivals started."
The sound of Earl spluttering precedes "So how are you enjoying the free turn-by-turn directions and XM Radio and hands-free dialing?"
"I haven't driven anywhere that I needed directions yet but I learned from my last car that that system does not work when you're in tunnels in Montreal and it's very scary to emerge into daylight and detours and No Right Turns in rush hour without any directions."
"Oh. You have to be in sight of the satellite at all times."
"That's not good. And a little creepy Earl."
"Did you get the phone set up?"
"Well, no. The free phone will expire in three months and then I'll have to pay for another one and remember another number. Besides, once I got you out of the driver's seat and I was out of range of the dealership, my cell phone paired up easily and is working just fine."
"Did you find some interesting channels on the satellite radio?"
"No. We already discussed how XM doesn't carry CBC, my favourite. And I learned from the last car that when it expires they inundate you with steadily-declining offers to re-up. It went from $15.99 a month down to $3.49. I still didn't want it."
"So it sounds like you've got everything figured out and you're pretty happy with your new car. I'll check in with you in a few weeks."
"Really Earl that's not necessary. In addition to your calls, I received a letter from the dealership owner thanking for me for my business. The service manager called to offer his assistance at any time. OnStar is mailing me, XM Radio is already soliciting me to re-enlist and the customer survey and requests are clogging up my Inbox. Oh and there is a monthly diagnostic email stating my tires are all inflated."
"Well, if that's all I'll let you go. You just let me know if there's anything I can help you with."
"I would like you to mail me the rebate and leave me to drive the thing in peace."
Earl chuckles. "Are we a great company or what? You take care now."
